// TOPIC_DETAIL
Personal Anecdotes and Household Safety Incidents
// UPVOTES
↑ 5.8K
// POSTS
8
// STATUS
[ok] indexed
// RELATED_POSTS
[ 8 records · sorted::upvotes_desc ]
idx │ source · upvotes · timestamp · title
001
r/jokes ↑ 2.2K · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all, I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!
Afterwards she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzle...
002
r/jokes ↑ 835 · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
A man is walking the Las Vegas strip, and runs into the most beautiful women he has ever met...
He starts talking to her, and to his luck he finds out she is a prostitute. So, he asks her.
"How much for a hand-job?"
"5,000$" she replies.
"5,000$?? You must be nuts, no way."
"Walk with me." S...
003
r/opossums ↑ 642 · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
Need advice!!! Found mom and babies in trashcan
My dog has been obsessing with our yard waste trashcan for a day or two now. She is a bulldog, so she is too small to knock it over or jump in. I got curious, so I looked inside today and found a mo...
004
r/talesfromyourserver ↑ 489 · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
You and I have very different ideas of what "same thing" means
SCENE - Int. Restaurant
CUSTOMER 1: "I'll have the grilled chicken with lentil soup and a Caesar salad."
CUSTOMER 2: "I'll have the same thing!"
FENRISSON: "Okay, so the grilled chi-"
CUSTOMER 2: ...
005
r/confession ↑ 462 · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
I broke both my arms. I should be miserable, but I’m not.
I (34w) fantasized about getting into some kind of accident since a young age. Getting hit by a car, falling down somewhere, something dramatic but efficient. It has to be quick. No long illness, no u...
006
r/jokes ↑ 409 · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
Three men walk into a bar, sit down and order three beers. The first man has an iguana on his shoulder, the second man is holding a cat but not wearing any pants, and the third man is covered head-to-toe in bees.
The bartender sets a beer in front of the first man and asks, "What's the deal with the iguana?"
The first man says, "Oh, I'm recently unemployed. I was a zookeeper, actually, and since I like repti...
007
r/girlsundpanzer ↑ 407 · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
Cutlass in her casual outfit - Finished
I drew Cutlass taking a short break after finishing her shift as a bartender.
008
r/jokes ↑ 366 · Apr 9, 2026 · ▣ 0
A clown walks into a bar.
His demeanor is awful. He asks the bartender for a shot, but tells him he won't be able to pay for it.
The bartender takes one look at his face and decides he needs it. "Sure, buddy. You look awful. ...
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